“Slow Children Crossing.” Fun with Misplaced Modifiers!

Whenever my daughter and I pass a "slow children crossing" sign, we launch into an exaggerated slow-motion mime of a kid crossing a street. A significant portion of my time on Twitter is spent highlighting modifier issues in headlines and tweets. Pointing out misplaced modifiers is one of my favorite pastimes. (I know. I need some new hobbies).

Needless to say, when the third pass of my manuscript came back from the copy editor, I had a moment of shame when I saw her note about a dangling modifier. It felt like a sign from the Grammar Gods. Clearly I had been guilty of modifier hubris.

Don't worry. It didn't last long. I mean, my dangling modifier wasn't even funny. Plus, it was one measly dangler in a long manuscript. (In fact, I'm thinking I should leave it in as a marketing gimmick. First reader to find the dangling modifier gets a prize!) The grammar horrors below, on the other hand, are from newspaper headlines. (It's a scourge, I'm telling you):

I didn't even know Lil' Wayne was in NY state politics:

Wait... THAT'S why he killed OBL?:

Don't Worry if you're filthy when you go to Sandal's. They'll clean you up:

Personally, I don't like to eat lobsters at bus shelters:

Well, that's a relief. I'd hate to think they were eating more children:

I'm not paying $600 to see an ugly kitchen:

It was sad enough when Bambi's parents died. Now this?:

Good news, but weird name:

At the actual party?:

They still have dueling?:

I guess they needed to rest up beforehand:

That's enough for today. Seriously, though, I think someone ought to create a Conjunction Junction-style Schoolhouse Rock video for modifiers.